i hate it

i think i'm sort of frustrated about my living situation. i don't really like being there. ever. pat just called me to remind me about rent and cable money. which is fine. but he said something about marija and nick flipping out about some pots and pans in the sink. OK so i hardly ever eat there. i ate there friday and used a pot, the strainer and a plate. there was much more in the sink thank that. there were ants on the counter i noticed yesterday. i was pretty grossed out and didn't want to go near the sink.

i hate eating there because that stupid dog begs everytime you go to eat something. ugh! why the hell did they get such a big dog? why did they get in like the day after we moved in? why couldn't it wait? i want to live by myself with no roommates, or at least someone i know well enough that i can talk to or something.

i feel like i'm not welcome there at all. seeing marija and nick makes my skin crawl sometimes. i don't really mind pat. he's just a stoner who does his own thing. i just hate being at my house. i feel like when i'm there i have to stay in my room. so marija and nick are close because they are a couple, and pat and nick are close because they are brothers. i'm just this outsider who lives there. i barely live there. i pay to keep my stuff there and shower. i hate buying food because if it's not diet food it's eaten before i can get to it. *sigh* i'm not sure what to do. i don't even want to talk to them.

i hate it so much. i feel like marija talks down to me. it's happened less often since i left starbucks. i hate staying in my room. i usually stay at dan's but i can't stand that because he snores so goddamn loud that it wakes me up and i can't go back to sleep. i think it's only been this bad the last 2 weeks or so, but he seriously sounds like he's going to choke sometimes. picture the person you know who has the worst snoring problem and multiply it by 5. he feels bad. he can't help it. how can anyone help what they do when they are asleep? still, it's pretty bad.

on the upside, jen and annabelle visit in thursday. annabelle crawls now. i'm excited to see her. this should make me feel better